For families

About 13 million Americans give unpaid care to someone with Alzheimer's or another dementia — more than 19 billion hours a year. Dementia caregiving is often longer, harder and lonelier than other kinds of caregiving, and caregivers have high rates of stress, depression and health problems of their own.

Grieving someone who is still here

Many families feel grief long before death — for the conversations, the shared memories, the person's role in the family. This is sometimes called anticipatory grief or ambiguous loss. It is real and normal, and it deserves the same kindness as any grief. Read about grief.

When brothers and sisters don't agree

Disagreements about care, money and who does what are among the most common stresses. A family meeting helps:

1. Share facts first: what the doctor said, what daily life looks like now.
2. List all tasks — including invisible ones like appointments and paperwork.
3. Let each person say what they can realistically give: time, money, skills, distance tasks.
4. Write it down in a Care Circle and share one link.
5. Meet again in a few months — needs change.

A neutral person — a social worker, care manager or counselor — can help when meetings get stuck.

When they don't recognize you

It's one of the hardest moments. The person may still sense warmth, safety and familiarity even without your name. Keep visiting, hold hands, play their music, look at old photos. Connection lives on beyond memory.

Guilt

Guilt about losing patience, about wanting a break, about moving someone into care — almost every caregiver feels it. Feeling guilty doesn't mean you're doing wrong. Ask yourself: “What would I tell a friend in my place?”

Looking after yourself

Check how you are doing: private check-in. If you ever feel you might harm yourself or the person you care for, call or text 988.

Talking to children

Explain simply and honestly that Grandma or Dad has an illness that affects the brain. Reassure them it isn't their fault and isn't catching. Give them ways to help and connect — singing, drawing, looking at photos together.

Reviewed September 2026. Education only — not medical, legal or financial advice.