Day-to-day care

• Approach from the front, make eye contact, and say your name: “Hi Mom, it's Clay.”
• Use short, simple sentences. One question at a time, with choices: “Tea or juice?”
• Give time to answer. Don't finish their sentences unless they want help.
• Don't argue or correct. Being “right” rarely helps — calm does.
• Respond to the feeling behind the words: “You sound worried. I'm here.”
• Body language and tone matter more than words as dementia progresses.

The person truly doesn't remember asking. Answer calmly each time, or try:

• Write the answer on a whiteboard: “Lunch with Anna is at 12:00.”
• Look for the worry underneath — repeated “When are we leaving?” may mean anxiety about being left.
• Redirect to an activity they enjoy.
• Step away for a moment if you need to. Your patience is a limited resource; that's human.

Many people become more confused, restless or upset in the late afternoon and evening.

• Keep a steady daily routine with activity and daylight in the morning.
• Limit naps and caffeine later in the day.
• Turn on lights before dusk; close curtains to reduce shadows.
• Plan calm, familiar activities for late afternoon — music, folding towels, a snack.
• Reduce noise and visitors in the evening.
• Use the Behavior Diary to spot patterns.

Agitation is often communication. Before assuming it's “the disease,” check for:

• Pain — teeth, joints, constipation, a urinary infection
• Basic needs — hunger, thirst, the toilet, being too hot or cold, tiredness
• Environment — noise, crowds, TV, too many choices
• Feeling rushed, corrected, or not in control

Stay calm, lower your voice, give space, and offer comfort or a distraction. If you or the person is in danger, get to safety and call 911. A sudden change in behavior can mean illness or delirium — call the doctor.

About 6 in 10 people with dementia will wander at some point, often at the same time of day or when looking for “home” or an old routine.

• Keep a recent photo and a list of places they might go.
• Use an ID bracelet or a GPS device.
• Tell trusted neighbors.
• Door chimes, alarms, or locks placed higher or lower than eye level can help.
• If they go missing, search the immediate area for no more than 15 minutes, then call 911 and say the person has dementia.

• Keep the old routine — bath or shower, morning or evening.
• Warm the room first. Use a towel over the shoulders for privacy and warmth.
• A handheld shower head and a shower chair help. Many people fear running water overhead.
• A sponge bath on some days is fine.
• Lay out clothes in the order they go on. Limit choices to two.
• If they refuse, stop and try again later — or let someone else try.

• Offer water often — people with dementia may not notice thirst.
• Serve one or two foods at a time on a plain plate that contrasts with the food.
• Finger foods help when utensils become hard.
• Eat together; people often copy what you do.
• Coughing or choking while eating needs a doctor's review — ask about a swallowing assessment.

• Daylight and activity in the morning; a regular bedtime routine.
• A night light and a clear path to the bathroom.
• Avoid alcohol and late caffeine.
• Ask the doctor before using any sleep medicine — many increase confusion and falls.

• Don't argue about whether it's real. Respond to the feeling: “That sounds frightening. You're safe with me.”
• Check lighting, mirrors and TV, which can be misread.
• Missing items “stolen”? Keep spares of important things and learn their hiding places.
• Tell the doctor — hallucinations can be a sign of Lewy body dementia, infection, or medicine side effects.

• Remove trip hazards, add grab bars and night lights.
• Lock away medicines, cleaning products, firearms, car keys and power tools.
• Knob covers or automatic shut-off devices for the stove.
• Set the water heater to 120°F or lower.
• Keep a list of emergency numbers by the phone.