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For caregivers & families

Caring for someone — and for yourself.

Whether you're worried about a friend's mood, supporting a partner through depression, or caring for an aging parent, what you do matters. So does how you're doing.

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1 · Helping someone who's struggling

You don't need the perfect words. You need to show up.

These five steps come from #BeThe1To, the suicide prevention campaign of the 988 Lifeline. They work for any kind of emotional pain.

  1. Ask. “How are you really doing?” — and if you're worried, ask directly about suicide. Asking does not put the idea in someone's head.
  2. Be there. Listen without rushing to fix. Your calm presence is the help.
  3. Keep them safe. If they're thinking about suicide, reduce access to things they could use to hurt themselves.
  4. Help them connect. To 988, a doctor, a therapist, or others who can support them. Offer to make the call together.
  5. Follow up. A text or call in the days after means more than you'd think.

Urgent guide

Worried about suicide?

Warning signs, how to ask, and what to do right now.

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Tool

Send a minute of calm

A small, personal way to say “I'm thinking of you.”

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2 · Words that help

What to say — and what not to.

TryInstead of
“That sounds really hard. I'm here.”“Look on the bright side.”
“You're not a burden to me.”“Other people have it worse.”
“What would help most right now?”“You just need to get out more.”
“Would you like me to come with you to the doctor?”“Have you tried just being positive?”
“Are you thinking about suicide?”“You're not thinking of doing something stupid, are you?”
“I'll check in with you tomorrow.”“Let me know if you need anything.”

Depression isn't a choice or a character flaw, and it can't be argued away. Patience and practical help — a meal, a ride, company on a walk — often mean the most.

Helping them get care

  • Offer to help find a provider: start with their primary care doctor, their insurance directory, or FindTreatment.gov.
  • Offer to make the call, drive, or sit in the waiting room.
  • Call the NAMI HelpLine (1-800-950-6264) for guidance on helping a loved one.
  • Families can take NAMI Family-to-Family, a free class for relatives of people living with mental health conditions.

3 · Caring for an aging parent or partner

When the person you care for seems down.

Depression in older adults is often missed — by families and by doctors — because it can look like tiredness, irritability, physical complaints, or memory trouble. It is not a normal part of aging, and it's treatable.

  • Notice changes: withdrawing from people, not eating, sleeping much more, giving up hobbies, talking about being a burden.
  • Go with them to the doctor and mention what you've seen. Ask about medicine side effects and medical causes.
  • Depression is common alongside dementia, stroke, Parkinson's and heart disease — and can still be treated.
  • Encourage gentle movement together: a daily walk, or chair tai chi.
  • Keep them connected: regular visits, calls, and local programs through the Eldercare Locator.
  • Take talk of suicide seriously. Older men have the highest suicide rate of any group in the U.S.

Open the older adults guide Later-life check-in Caring for someone with dementia

4 · Looking after you

Caregiver burnout is real — and common.

Caring for someone can be meaningful. It can also be exhausting, lonely and frightening. Caregivers have higher rates of depression and anxiety than people who aren't caregiving.

Signs of burnout

  • Exhausted even after rest
  • Resentment, then guilt about it
  • Withdrawing from friends
  • Getting sick more often
  • Feeling hopeless or trapped
  • Drinking or eating more to cope

What helps

  • Share the load — list tasks and ask specific people for specific help
  • Take regular breaks. Respite care exists for this.
  • Keep one thing that's just for you
  • Join a caregiver support group
  • Check in on your own mood

Care Circle

One link for the family: tasks, helpers, key contacts.

Build it →

Your check-in

How are you doing? Two private minutes.

Check in →

One-minute reset

For the moments in between.

Breathe →

Caregiver resources

Sources

Reviewed September 2026. Education only — not medical advice.