Grief — signs, what helps, when to get help

Grief is the natural response to loss — the death of someone we love, but also a divorce, a diagnosis, a move, or the loss of the life we expected. There is no right way or right timeline to grieve.

Grief often comes in waves. Early on they may be overwhelming and frequent. Over time, for most people, they become less frequent and less intense, though they may still arrive on birthdays, holidays or with a song. Grief is not an illness, and most people do not need treatment for it — but everyone deserves support.

What it can feel like

Shock, numbness, or disbelief
Deep sadness and yearning for the person
Anger, guilt, or “what if” thoughts
Trouble sleeping or eating
Difficulty concentrating
Physical symptoms: fatigue, aches, tightness in the chest
Hearing or sensing the person nearby — this is common
Moments of laughter or relief — also normal

For some people, grief stays intense and disabling for a long time. When intense yearning or preoccupation with the person lasts beyond a year and makes daily life very hard, doctors call this prolonged grief disorder, and specific therapies help.

What helps — and how sure we are

Grief-focused therapy

Moderate evidence · for prolonged grief

Specialized therapies for prolonged grief have been tested in randomized trials and help people move forward while still honoring the person.

Support from people who understand

Limited research

Grief support groups through hospices, places of worship, and community centers help many people feel less alone. Hospice bereavement services are often free to the family.

Caring for the body

Moderate evidence

Grief is physically draining. Regular meals, sleep, and gentle movement matter more than usual.

Try tai chi basics →

Loving-kindness practice

Promising

Some people find it helps with guilt, anger, or self-blame after a loss.

Try loving-kindness →

Something small for today

Let yourself feel what comes — or not feel. Both are okay.
Tell one person what today is like.
Eat something, even small.
Write a letter to the person you lost.
Put off big decisions — moving, selling — if you can.

Make a plan for hard days

When to get help

Reach out to a doctor or counselor if grief makes it hard to function for many months, if you feel life has no meaning without the person, or if you are drinking more to cope. If you are thinking of ending your life or wanting to join the person who died, call or text 988 now.

If you're thinking about suicide or feel you might hurt yourself, call or text 988 now, or call 911 if you're in immediate danger.

Sources

Reviewed September 2026. Education only — not a substitute for professional care.